Time is supposed to heal isn’t it? That’s what people keep telling me. I look out of the window at the hustle and bustle of people, buses, cars, and motorcycles. Life is constantly on the go, moving, transforming, evolving, life is outside of the window. But for me life has stopped.
It’s been two years since Eric died, my life is still empty with his clothes out of the wardrobe, his knick knacks all gone to charity and my finger now without a ring. I look outside at life’s beauty unable to touch it to exist in it, I am in a different place full of pain, grief and emptiness.
I keep telling myself that somehow the past will go away, the memories will fade away, I keep getting told I look so well and that I look happy. But people cannot see the agony I have and the loss I hold inside me it doesn’t go away. It’s inside me the pain, prickling me like thorns from a rose bush and I like the traffic outside simply move on and on forward but inside me is the agony. I just breathe for the sake of it merely existing but not living like the life outside the window.
Time is supposed to heal isn’t it? But for me as I look outside the window time has merely moved on for everyone else. I just exist in life and move forward as life does, but merely surviving another day for me. Sorrow is my companion for life and Eric will forever be in my heart.
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