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Laying here

This piece is inspired by writing prompts: http://www.creativewritingink.co.uk/resources/writing-prompts picture of a girl:

mahyar-tehrani-259213

As I lay here looking at the ceiling, I can't seem to move, blink or have the desire to get up, he has just told him that he loves someone else and has been having an affair.

I didn't realise there were over 10,562 dots in the ceiling tiles, I have counted them over and over again as I lie here in the bed with my shawl wrapped around me keeping me protected. I just stare at the ceiling and the words affair flash at me like headlights of a car.

I thought he loved me, James. We had difficulties in our marriage, who doesn't I think as I lie here with my world blown apart by those words. He had been working late, going away to conference but he had always been ambitious and pushing himself so I didn't think it was that...an affair.

My legs feel so heavy like a sack of sand and my eyes are not blinking, I am in shock I can't move those words vibrate in my body, affair, affair, affair and affair. I have no power to get up and go from here and to live again.

Who is she, is she pretty, well she must be beautiful I am not pretty and how many times did he sleep with her? Were all those business calls him talking to her, I don't even know her name she that he's left me with nothing. All his belongings have gone, eight years of marriage over within one second with one word affair.

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