Revelation
I watch him every day, I can hear my heart beating, racing in my chest
as the time ticks as it is nearly 5pm. I wait in anticipation as he is going to come down
the stairs and exit the building. I can see him come down the lift from my desk, his hair is
glistening like diamonds in the sky and he carries the rucksack gently and softly like a
baby in the lift.
I see the clients stop him as they pass, he is like a rock star they
flock to him and he offers words of advice gently like a mother listening to a child and
touches them attentively on their shoulder. His walk is military, like a soldier
marching into battle, standing tall and firm as he walks straight out the building. He never
notices me. I sit at my desk there every day in Glisson Grove Solicitor's waiting for
him to leave. I have to see him go before I can leave to go home.
Mrs Gleason, he always calls me Mrs Gleason, how I have wanted so many
times for him to call me Doreen. I am your Doreen, hold me I want to say, touch me
or kiss me. I have started to wear my skirts low, tops short, and I wear my lipstick
thick and apply my mascara in the morning for him, only for him.
I drop my paperwork near him and he picks it up apologising without
realising that I drop it on purpose randomly on several different days only to smell his
aftershave and to have him near my body. My eyes do meet his and they are blue like the
ocean calm and soothing. I feel like I am swimming in them for eternity but it is only
a second. He hands the paperwork back and moves forward like an express train down the corridor.
His suit is straight, crisp and immaculate. He does not see my heavy bosom, my
sweaty palms as I hold the paperwork in my hands. He is the commander of the ship and
we are his soldiers.
I brought him some flowers I left him last week at his desk, they are
drooping in the background; the petals are falling down on the floor. I remember
how he looked at the card like a business case and threw it away into the bin. I didn’t put
my name on it, I couldn’t as I felt afraid that I would lose my job, but all I want is
for him to know how much I like him. Christopher, Christopher his name and login to my
computer account asI shyly type it.
7am everyday he comes in like a speeding train, I can sense when he is
about to arrive and I am there to greet him with a coffee and croissant, his croissant
is always almond. ‘Morning Mrs
Gleason’ he says. I wish he would call me Doreen. I
take my camera out of my handbag and take a photo of him sitting in his office.
He never knows I am doing it. I keep the pictures
of him under my pillow. Graham my husband is never there to notice them. He is always working late, busy to see me or to
make me feel that I am special.
Christopher is wearing his suit it is blue today; it is my favorite one
that he wears because it matches his eyes. He is writing away like a poet busy,
precisely and carefully building his empire around him. I watch him there sitting wishing he
would pay attention to me. He has no pictures on his desk; clean it is and neatly filed away
papers. I have asked around the office if he has a girlfriend or wife but no one knows
about his past or present.
He is a mystery, a perfect man how I want him so much, and for me to be
his special person. Graham wouldn’t even notice that I have gone away. Mr
Chaplin they call him and never Christopher. His colleagues never look at him in his
eyes when talking, they follow his commands like a crew on a ship filing, writing
and meeting clients.
I have to tell him, I have to let him know how I feel. I cannot
hide how I feel and I lay awake thinking about him, while Graham sleeps every night snoring away from
the same book every day. I know that
Graham wouldn’t miss me, he doesn’t even notice I am in the house of that I have dressed up. He just falls asleep without even
kissing me.
Today is the day, I have made my mind up to tell him how I feel. I wait
outside the building for him to arrive and he walks quickly. He looks flustered
and impatient and I start to follow him behind at a distance. I wonder what I am doing, what
if he sees me.What if I lose my job?
But I cannot help to still follow, watching his long legs stride across
the pathway towards near a park. It is a secluded area where they are not many people and it
is shaded by trees. I hide near a tree, and can see that he starts to wave, but I can’t
see who the person is. My heart drops down, my god I knew it, it’s his wife or
girlfriend I knew he could not be single a man like that, his physique and intelligence as I
watch at a distance.
I want to see who this woman is who had won his heart, as I stand behind
a tree to watch, as he goes up to her. But it is not a woman, a girl of around
sixteen wearing a short skirt and a uniform jumper. It must be his daughter so he has a
daughter.
I watch them walk into the park as a I follow slowly behind, it is
starting to get dark and I follow behind as I want to see where he lives. But they go deeper into
the forest as I follow and see them go towards a large tree in the middle of the park.
They stop there and I hide behind another tree. Why have they stopped there?
I watch at a distance as I start to see him putting his hand onto
her leg as she starts to lean against the tree and slowly rubs it up into her skirt. My hand
quickly goes to my mouth in horror, he is kissing her and I can hear her groans. I
can’t believe it. She is 16 years old! What is he thinking? Tears start to roll down my cheeks as I
watch him start to make love to her in the park. I cannot stand to watch it anymore and I
run through the to go back to Graham who I know has gone to sleep.
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