looks so happy, why don’t you ever take me away on holiday?’ said Rebecca.
‘I did….. Look that is all just superficial stuff…. Said Eric. ‘When did you last see
Keisha wasn’t it back at school? I mean what does it matter what she is doing?’
Rebecca sat at the screen feeling annoyed, Keisha was doing things, her status
was being updated all the time with her husband Patrick. They looked so happy all
the time and Eric still hadn’t asked her to marry her.
‘But… god you just don’t understand. Look how cheerful they are’ sighed Rebecca.
She hadn’t seen Keisha in over ten years, but all of her old school friends looked so
settled, they were constantly updating their profiles, going holiday and Rebecca felt that
she wasn’t doing anything only working.
Rebecca had been dating Eric for over five years, she loved him immensely but seeing
all her friends on Facebook getting married and having children, made her feel that she
was the only one who wasn’t. She had met Eric at a mutual friends party purely by
chance, she had been excited to update her status to ‘in a relationship’. It was a rush
of excitement to see how many ‘likes’ or ‘comments’ she received from people on her
individual page. She felt important and gratified by that acknowledgement.
‘Eric when are you going to ask me to marry you?’ she blurted out. She had been
constantly asking him the question more so. Eric sighed ‘If you keep whining about
it and forcing it, I never will ask you’ he said. Rebecca felt frustration and shut her
laptop with a bang. ‘Careful’ he said. ‘I don’t care’ she said and stormed out of the living
room. Was Eric ever going to ask her to marry him, she thought.
She felt that her life in comparison to others was boring. Tears fell down her cheeks as
she sat on the edge of bed and looked at the Facebook page, of friends ‘checking’ in to
museums or abroad. While she was at home.
Last week she had been able to update her status to ‘checked in to watch Star Wars’ on
her active status page. She could not wait to see the comments updated by people and
the likes after that update. It gave her a thrill, but then it died down and she enjoyed that
feeling. Today she was at home only doing domestic chores and kept on checking
everyone else’ page updates.
‘Hey…. oh babe don’t cry….’ Eric said as he walked in through the door into the
bedroom. ‘Why don’t you put that away and spend some time together?’ But Rebecca
felt angry towards Eric. ‘Go away’ she shouted. Eric withdraw into himself like a
hedgehog and left the room quickly. Rebecca was more and more on the laptop looking
at updates on social media.
‘What did you do at the weekend?’ her college Jennifer asked her. Rebecca didn’t know
what to say ‘Oh I was soo busy’ she said swiveling in her office chair looking at the
computer screen. ‘I was at the Tate Modern, and then went to the Millenium Wheel’ said
Jennifer. Rebecca knew what she had been doing already, as she had read her status’
at the weekend. She didn’t have anything to compare herself with, last week she had
been able to, but this week she had been just doing normal things. Jennifer didn’t want
to hear about she thought. She had been able to talk about the film and watching Star
Wars last week, but today she was unable to say anything about her weekend. Jennifer
was constantly updating her profile, in the same way her friends were. Rebecca felt more
and more inadequate in comparison to them. She knew that Jennifer must have looked
at her status and knew that she had not been doing anything.
‘Oh yes!’ Jennifer exclaimed ‘not only that but Jack proposed to me on the Millenium
Wheel. I am going to update my status later on. I am soo happy. What a romantic
gesture Jack did. So what about you Rebecca? I mean you and Eric?’ said Jennifer.
Rebecca felt a knotted feeling in her stomach, Jennifer was getting married she
thought, she had only been going about with Jack for a year. She hadn’t even mentioned
it before. She could see Jennifer beaming with excitement as she updated her Facebook
page with her eyes darting around in the office. Her ring was glistening, and was
gleaming straight at Rebecca.
‘Jennifer is getting married? Married... ‘ she shouted at Eric. Eric looked visually
shocked.
He was doing the dishes when Rebecca came into the house. ‘Can you believe
that. They have only been together for a year, we have been together for five years Eric’
she screamed again. She threw her purse at the sofa in resentment with her watered
eyes.
Eric left the dishes, with the foam still on his hands and left the room. Rebecca didn’t
notice as she put on Facebook and saw Jennifer’s status update ‘just got engaged’.
There were so many likes, comments and smiley faces on her page, Jennifer was so
popular and blessed in her life settled. Whilst Rebecca felt more and more insufficient.
Rebecca had fallen asleep on the sofa and went upstairs to see if Eric was there, to
find the bedroom empty. He must have gone to work she thought. She wanted to
ask him about marriage again.
She quickly put on her clothes from yesterday and make up and decided to go
for a walk through the park. The children were playing on swings, whilst parents
were chatting and some people were running doing exercise.
‘Rebecca is that you?’ she heard. She turned around and it was Keisha. She
could not believe it. Rebecca felt embarrassed, she had not even dressed properly
and it had been a long time since she had seen Keisha.
‘How have you been?’ said Keisha ‘ You are with Eric aren’t you?’
‘Yes’ said Rebecca thinking here we go again waiting for Keisha to rant about
her relationship.
‘You are so lucky, unfortunately me and Patrick have got divorced. He was
having an affair with someone else’ said Keisha. Rebecca could not believe it. Keisha
had looked so satisfied on Facebook, her status was always filled with adventures
and she looked as though she was carefree with her husband. ‘We had been unhappy
for a while, but kept on trying to make it work. I am going to come off Facebook actually,
as I need a break for a while to recover from my breakup. You know you are lucky to
have a man who truly loves you, Patrick never did the small things and was always busy
on the laptop. Anyway say hi to Eric, you too must be truly happy as you don’t really
post on Facebook updates’ she said as she walked away with her head down.
Rebecca stood in shock, she could not believe that Keisha had not been that content,
that her status were superficial. Rebecca felt stupid as she walked home.
On entering her home, she could not find Eric, but noticed that Eric had taken his stuff,
clothes, laptop, and personal belongings. She found a note on the table which read:
Dearest Rebecca,
I am writing this letter to let you know that I have decided to end our relationship.
I felt constantly pressured to get married to you, and I was going to ask you as
I had brought a ring. But you pushed it too much and kept on at me. I felt that my
love was lacking as you were always comparing me to your friends on Facebook. You
were constantly on your laptop and I felt that you didn’t seem to focus on me or our
relationship together. You were always angry and shouting at me which I felt more
uncomfortable with and did not want to be with you any longer.
I wish you the best in everything you do.
Best Wishes Eric.
Rebecca’s heart was beating faster and faster as the letter fell onto the floor. She
realised that due to spending so much time on social media, she had jeopardised
her relationship. She had wasted looking at updates and comments on Facebook
and Eric had left her. She had been too busy to on the laptop, it was her own fault and
she had been having a go at Eric everyday. She fell onto the bed abruptly and heard her
Facebook page updates. She no longer wanted to engage in the social media rat race, it
was superficiality and she was alone now due to her own behaviour.
She threw the laptop onto the floor as it hit the box next to the letter which Eric had left.
The ring it in which opened showed a sapphire filled with beauty, hope, and a future
that no longer there and as it lay in the box unused.
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