‘I was thinking of when we first met.’
‘What?’ he said as sat staring into his laptop profusely.
‘Never mind’ she said as turned to the other end of the bed with tears in her eyes. But he didn’t
notice.
It was like this every day, she remembered when they first met, Matt would write her love
letters, expressing how he felt ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’. But now he was always on the laptop
or saying ‘we see each everyday’. Was that what marriage was thought Catherine disappointed.
‘Guess who I friended on Facebook, do you remember Patrick, from school?’ she expressed
beaming.
‘Huh?’ this was Matt’s catchphrase to every response after that got married. Before he used to
say the simple word ‘yes’ or ‘darling’ but afterwards he changed.
‘Patrick!’ she screeched.
‘You don’t have to shout, yes, yes, your old school friend’ he said still staring at the laptop.
She always felt that he would rather be with his laptop than her, as he was always more
tentative with that object than he was with her. ‘
He wants to meet up with me for a coffee, so that will be nice’. But Matt didn’t look up at her
from the laptop to respond.
Catherine wore her favourite dress with flowers and bright colours, she put her makeup
and decided even to have her hair straightened. But Matt didn’t notice how she looked,
he was always busy on his laptop looking at DIY tools. She desired him to make one comment
that she looked nice, but he never did anymore. He used to remark and say she was pretty.
Catherine felt excited, she hadn’t felt like that for ages, her marriage had got into a rut. It was
always the practical things to sort out. The bills, dishes, shopping, and mortgage. Matt
hardly took her out anymore ‘why do you want to go out for?’ he would say or ‘We went out
last month’. She felt more saddened by his comments as the years had gone by. She wished
he used to be who he was when they first met, that was the romantic time when they were
courting. But marriage seemed to steal that beauty and love, it was all about the mundane
practicalities of life.
The cafe was quite full, the coffee machine was steaming away, whilst there were queues of
people, and the staff were shouting ‘Grand Latte’ or ‘Cappuccino’ to the customers. Catherine
edged herself into the cafe, she felt nervous to meet Patrick as it had been a long time.
She looked at the end of the cafe, and there he was sitting. She felt this rush of color into her
face and blushed. She hadn’t felt this way in a long time. She felt embarrassed by her feelings
and guilt of finding another man attractive other than her husband. She tentatively stepped
towards him whilst waving at him.
‘Hi’ she said.
‘You look pretty, and haven’t changed a bit’ he said.
She blushed again. Matt was always rubbing her belly making her self conscious that she had
put on weight.
‘Thank you, how have you been? She said as she sat down.
‘What would you like to drink? It is still a mint chocolate?’
Catherine startled how he remembered what her favourite drink was, Matt was still buying her a
coffee or cappuccino. She reddened again.
‘I’m fine, busy, you know work and still single’ he said looking straight at her.
Catherine could not believe that he was still single after all this time.
‘How’s you and Matt been? Any children?’ he said.
Catherine looked at him and didn’t know what to say. Matt and herself had been trying to have
children but it simply hadn’t happened for them both. She felt pain in her heart, as she had buried
her feelings of her desire that had been dashed.
‘Matt is fine thanks, we can’t have children’ she said quickly.
‘I’m sorry to hear that, I know how much you love children’ he said as he touched her hand.
‘I can’t believe you are still single’ she said staring into his green eyes.
‘I thought you knew? Matt did…..that I had a crush on you...well it was a long time ago, he
he just got there first when I should have asked you out’ he blurted out. His eyes darted away
from her as his hand retreated back.
Catherine had no idea that Patrick had ever fancied her, she had always liked him. But Matt had
made the first move on her and pursued her.
‘Are you happy with Matt?’ he asked as he looked at her again.
Catherine didn’t know what to say. Being with Matt had become routine, monotonous, bland
and sometimes she felt invisible with him. She looked down at the ring on her finger
it was no longer shining, but worn and felt heavy.
He held out his hand again towards her holding it, but Catherine felt a rush of misconduct within
herself.
‘I have to go’ she said stammering. She felt her knees weakened and her heart beating.
‘Anytime you need me I’m here’ said Patrick as he let go of her hand.
She rushed outside into the beaming sun as it hit her eyes and was blinding her. She could see
a man standing outside the cafe with flowers. It was Matt.
‘Hi I got these for you’ as he handed them towards her.
‘What are you doing here?’ she gasped.
‘ I remembered you told me that you were meeting Patrick, so I thought I’m come and surprise
you.’ he said looking at her directly.
She felt a warmth and surprise at Matt’s gesture and the flowers which were her favourite Lilies.
‘Let's go home’ she said, as he grabbed her hand towards her.
‘I’m sorry for talking you for granted, I love you very much’ he whispered into her ear.
‘I also love you too’. She held her hand tight as the ring glistened again in the sunshine.
Catherine didn’t look back towards the Cafe or Patrick, as she walked with Matt towards their
home she felt her that her heart like a candle had been lit with the love again for her husband.
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